In honor of Screen-Free Week (now through May 6) and today’s launch of Let Children Play, I wanted to share with you three articles I wrote in the spirit:
15 Toys That Encourage Imaginative Play
Are You a Free-Range Parent? Take This Quiz and Find Out
How I’m Creating an Edible Front Yard (and You Can Too)
15 Toys That Encourage Imaginative Play
When people ask what toys are good for creative play, the best answer would be, of course, no toys. Obviously it’s not realistic to not give children toys. While I love experiential gifts (like activities or performances), toys have their place too.
Yet some of my proudest moments as a parent are when my children make their own playthings. My daughters have fashioned quite a collection of colored-pencil paper dolls (the latest batch are covered with glittery curlicues), and for birthdays and Christmas, they will sometimes make toys or puzzles for their little brothers.
I put a high value on creativity — and a less harried lifestyle — so my kids have a lot of free time to come up with stuff like this. Another way to encourage imagination is to give a child an open-ended toy, one that requires the child’s input to come to life.
I think of imaginative toys like a healthy meal, as opposed to a junk-food snack. Like a simple toy, a healthy meal might take more time to make and it might not be as alluring, but eating it makes everyone feel better in the long run.
Here are some ideas at 15 Toys That Encourage Imaginative Play at Parentables.
Are You a Free-Range Parent?
As enthusiastic as I am about free-range parenting — where parents let go of overblown fears to give children the freedom to explore – I would probably give myself a B- on the Free-Range Parenting scale.
I don’t let my children walk to friends’ houses, I don’t leave them at the playground (have you heard of Take Our Children to the Park…& Leave Them There Day?), I barely let them near the oven, and in general, I feel like an over-protective mama.
Yet, I am convinced that weaning myself away from anxious helicoptering and towards relaxed overseeing is the way I should be going. I want my kids to learn how to navigate the world so they can handle the ever-more complicated situations that they will come across.
I want them to feel comfortable, not scared, when it’s time to walk to middle school on their own. I want them to know I have confidence in their ability to be responsible, to take care of themselves, to respect others, and to do the right thing. As many studies have shown, when we expect a lot from children, they rise to the occasion.
But what about the danger part? According to Lenore Skenazy, founder of the Free-Range Parenting movement, in an article published today called Free-range kids encouraged to spread their wings:
“Statistically speaking, you would need to keep your child standing on the road outside for 750,000 years before they would be kidnapped and held by a stranger overnight. To keep seeing things only in terms of risk even when that risk is minute is weird,” [Skenazy] said.
“Today is statistically the safest time in human history and yet we act … as if the whole world is filled with paedophiles and perverts and runaway cars.”
So even though I am not a poster parent for Free-Range, here are some things I am doing to help foster my kids’ self-reliance without taxing myself with worry:
1. Letting them walk to school by themselves
I occasionally let Sofia (10) and Virginia (8) take the 10-minute walk to school by themselves. Of course when we were young, this was the norm: I used to walk a whole mile to kindergarten by myself.
Even though I love the time to connect when we walk together, sometimes it’s helpful when they can walk on their own — and they appreciate the vote of confidence.
2. Letting them walk to an after-school activity
Sofia (4th grade) has one after-school activity, and her ballet class is two blocks from school in her teacher’s house, which she walks to on her own (then I come pick her up).
Sofia was a bit wary at first, but now she enjoys this shot of independence and feels proud of her ability to handle it.
3. Letting them play on the side streets by our house
This year I let the girls go pick wildflowers in the two blocks around our house. They have also gone to the tree-swing on the corner, and explored the surrounding streets to take pictures of cherry blossoms. It’s not anything like running around the neighborhood until dinnertime like I used to do, but it’s a step.
This freedom is exciting to them, and they always come back flushed in the face, excited to show me their finds.
4. Teaching them to cook dinner once a week
Eating Virginia's first-cooked meal together last night
After the third time Sofia told me that she wished I would make her “dream salad,” one that included iceberg lettuce, grated carrots, sliced tomatoes, canned corn, and Ranch dressing (so much for my spinach concoctions!), I offered to let her and her sister make dinner a few times a month. OK, it was also spurred by side comments that I got to do the fun part (cooking) while they had to do the yucky part (setting the table).
Last night, Virginia inaugurated the tradition by making farfalle with ham and cream sauce, and an iceberg lettuce and corn salad. (What is it with iceberg and kids?) She ordered the groceries, cut up the veggies, stirred the pasta, heated up the bread, and did pretty much everything except tipping the pot full of the boiling water into the sink. I was there, of course, every step of the way, instructing and coaching. But how else would someone learn to cook?
Virginia was engaged in the whole process, and her siblings reinforced her achievement. Her older sister, often criticizing, actually said, “Wow, this looks good!” Mark, the four-year-old dessert-fiend, even cleaned his plate.
Sofia took a picture of her plate: she clearly goes by the no-touching rule
I think letting children cook is in tune with free-range, because it’s allowing children to take (age-appropriate) risks in order to learn about the world, have fun, and grow.
How about you? Figure out where you stand in this post:
Are You a Free-Range Parent? Take this Quiz and Find Out
How I’m Creating an Edible Front Yard (and You Can Too)
Back in January, one of the goals I set for this year was to create an edible front yard. But it wasn’t just about taste and beauty: it was about creating an activity in nature that my children and I would find enticing. Before we had a garden, it was hard to get my kids outside, partly because it was hard to get me outside.
Vegetables, bouquet flowers, and herbs growing near our front porch
I’m happy to report, it’s really working! Everyone loves watering, and we all get into discovering which new seedlings are popping up, and how many fruit globes are forming. I know that this is just the beginning of a (possibly bumpy) road: I have been fairly warned about wrestling all sorts of critters for our loot — birds, bugs, raccoons — not to mention the suffocating humidity and the summer vacation droughts, but — so far, so good.
You can see more of what we’ve been doing at Parentables in How I’m Creating an Edible Front Yard (and You Can Too).
Neighbors love walking by and seeing the progress our peaches are making
Are you participating in Screen-Free Week? Much to my eldest daughters’ chagrin (who wants more computer time), my children’s screen time is so limited, there is not much to cut. But I like the message behind the event: unplug and play, daydream, create, explore, and spend time with family and friends.
We all could use a little more of that.
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kat July 13, 2012 at 11:11 am
Daisy .love your name . it is my grandson puppies name he loves her to death , I have 13 grandchildren, i do understand your time to be yourself, i raised my kids and do not want to raise theirs, but i feel they have to work all the time and the kids miss out, so this is a few things, i have them do , first our morning starts with waking up and chores we either go feed the horses dogs, or fish, then we pick up our clothes , then we get dressed doing hair and so on, then breakfast, they eat meals i prepare fast cereal, or oatmeal which i do a fruit surprise sometimes not all the time, then we brush our teeth out side with a bowl of water they spit outside in yard, this way i am sure all brushed and done mess out side, then i let them play for an hour or two while i do my chores , while thier outside, i get the dinner ready fill prepared cups , then i go back out side, now for the games , first game might be run to the mail box, long drive way, next to wear them out we pick up sticks maybe for camp fire we might do, then we get sticks big enough for fishing, in pond, they may not catch anything but they had fun trying , i also have e 6000 glue we glue all of us on the table, working with glass or whaT EVER YOU HAVE THEY WAN T TO MAKE, KIDS Are easy, as long as you make it creative they will do it, then play time again while you get the meal on the table, with so many little ones it is way easier on you if the table is set, and ready then they put them away, then nap time with story while they sleep you take some chill time with a phone call to a friend or bible reading what ever your chill time is, then after an hour and a half no more or they won;t sleep at night, get them up for more play time, tell them to clean up their mess, then walk time with them then their play time, while you water your flowers, then veggie tales time or what ever they enjoy while you watch with them , kids take time but if you get into a routine change it so it does not become a habit for them and boring, praise them often spank them when they need it reward them with treats or little dollar store trinkets, your kids will fall into place and be better kids for anyone else, but the old saying spare the rod spoil the child is so true, temper tantrums go unrewarded and to bed missing out on play time
kids are easy you might also trade babysitting days with someone so you can have down time and you should you have earned it ! have fun ~!
Jen @ Jen Spends May 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Hi again Amy… Do you have a recipe for the pasta, or do you just use your alfredo recipe? It looks delish (as does the salad)!
Amy May 3, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Hi Jen,
Sure! Let me see: we just boiled pasta in salted water (2 t. salt), then we drained it and tossed it with about 1 cup of heavy cream, 3 Tablespoons of butter, 1 cup of grated parmesan, fresh pepper, and about 1/2 c. sliced ham (cut into squares). Toss it all, and voila’: super easy and satisfying!
Glad it looked good to you too,
Amy
Jen @ Jen Spends May 10, 2012 at 5:50 pm
I thought I thanked you, but I don’t see the comment, so thank you again! I’m making it for dinner tonight, just subbing in some chicken sausage I got on sale instead of the ham. Can’t wait!
Amy May 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
That’s so great, Jen — I hope it turned out yummy!
Amy
Jen @ Jen Spends May 1, 2012 at 10:01 pm
We have a little bit of TV time in the morning, but I have to say that nothing gives me more joy than seeing my son using his imagination as he plays with the toys I’ve carefully picked out for him. His play kitchen has been a big hit, and lately he has been into setting up elaborate scenes involving firetrucks, trains, and roadworkers. Now he’s even beginning to imagine pretend conversations between the characters (it made me chuckle recently when the firemen ended their phone conversation with “I love you!”). I know people who get excited that their toddlers can mimic cartoon characters or recite movie lines by heart, and that saddens me.
As for the free range parenting…I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’d probably give myself a C, or in some cases a D. I do allow my son in a different room or even a different floor at this point, but I’m probably overly cautious about some things. Recently I witnessed a shocking example of what I can only assume was the “free-range” parent idea in action. I saw a little boy about the size of my son (though maybe 4 or 5) walking on the sidewalk completely alone shortly before dusk. I approached him and asked where mommy and daddy were. I didn’t get a clear answer, so I waited a while. Nobody turned up. The boy told me that he was walking to a school about half a mile away to meet up with his brothers. His face was dirty from dinner, so I thought maybe he had escaped unbeknownst to his parents. Just as I was dashing into my house to call the police, a car pulled up and the driver started talking to the boy. It was his dad, who must have noticed me talking to his son (I found out they live on the next block). He asked his son if he had told me where he was going. When I told the dad the name of the school, kind of chuckling because I thought it was absurd, the dad replied “Good!”, and told the boy to keep going. I left it at that, but I couldn’t believe it. I felt bad about possibly confusing the boy as to how he should interact with strangers, but I had no idea whether his parents knew what he was up to or not. I don’t know for sure if the dad was engaging in free-range parenting, but if so I think his experiment was way too extreme.
Jen @ Jen Spends May 1, 2012 at 10:01 pm
Egads…sorry for the novel!
Amy May 1, 2012 at 10:26 pm
Hi Jen,
Please don’t apologize! I loved hearing your thoughts about screen time, creative play and free-range parenting. I don’t think the situation you describe with the 4-year-old sounds like conscious and careful choice of offering age-appropriate independence to a child, but who is to say? The issue of children and safety is tricky, and we all have different comfort levels, experiences, and family situations.
I loved hearing about Mr. Boy’s elaborate scenes with cars and trucks — the “I love you!” line is precious. When children play with character toys and simply replay scripts from TV shows, they’re not really using their imagination, as you say. That’s why it’s so important to limit screen time and get kids into neutral territory — like nature — where they get to make up the story lines.
Thanks for writing in, Jen,
Amy
emily young May 1, 2012 at 9:32 pm
OK, so I am not the best free-range parent out there…. Way overprotective!!! I guess that is why they have a dad. He lets them do things I never would!! Oh well…
Amy May 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Hi Emily,
I hear you — it is HARD to trust the world with your child! But if it’s important to you, I’m sure you’ll find ways to let out the apron strings gradually.
Thanks for writing in,
Amy
Daisy May 1, 2012 at 8:43 pm
I spend way too much time in front of the computer. I’m going to switch it off for the rest of today!
Amy May 1, 2012 at 9:26 pm
I like your can-do attitude, Daisy! Sometimes is just refreshing to do something new — get some fresh air or change perspective. I hope the rest of your day was satisfying!
Daisy May 3, 2012 at 6:10 am
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to stick to it, but it was a worthwhile exercise. I did minimise my computer time and I plan to try again. There seemed to be a lot of extra time in my day without the computer to absorb it.