What Happens When Kids Know More About Good Food?

February 5, 2010

I confess that my daughter, Sofia’s, favorite food is Cheetos. This is a difficult disclosure for me, since I spend a lot of time and energy (and, why not, love because I actually enjoy) cooking meals for our family. I cook every night of the week (we usually go out once a weekend), make breakfast in the morning, and pack lunches for everyone (as well as snacks for after-school).  Yet, in fear of being extreme, I do occasionally allow her to eat junky stuff, at at party or on a road trip, just for the heck of it.

What’s On Your Plate?

My 7-year-old Cheeto-loving mini-rebel is the reason I was interested in seeing the documentary film, What’s on Your Plate?, which is premiering on the Discovery Channel’s Planet Green this Saturday, February 6. The film chronicles two eleven-year-olds investigating where their food comes from, how it’s made, and how it got there.

It struck a chord when the film’s director, Catherine Gund, said she was inspired to create the film when her daughter, Sadie (rarely exposed to junk food, like mine, and with hereditary cholesterol issues) was entering middle school and would be free to choose her own food at lunch and after-school. She wanted her daughter to have the knowledge to back up her own choices.

I met the director and the two young stars, Sadie and Safiyah, at a lunch organized by the Discovery Channel this week at Candle 79, a delicious organic and vegan restaurant on New York’s Upper East Side. (It was an extra treat to also be able to meet No Impact Man, Colin Beavan, whose book is on my To Read list.)

Eating Well is a Family Project

What’s on Your Plate? is meant to be watched by children and adults together. The idea is that a family’s attitudes about food will not be changed by one person — whether it’s top-down (a mother enforcing healthier food) or bottom-up (a child declaring he wants the household to go vegetarian).

While the film will probably largely go over the heads of children under 7 (my first-grader was a little fidgety), I liked the idea of starting a conversation about food and health with my kids. The movie’s curious pre-teens interview everyone from parents suffering from diabetes to food experts to a Mexican family farming rented land outside of New York City.  They inspired us to talk about what caused my daughters’ grandmother to have a heart attack, and what exactly are Funyuns?

The film treats a wide-ranging array of food issues, but here are just a few ideas I took away from my experience with the film and conversations with its creators.

Tips and Ideas for Eating Better (and Saving Money)

  • A thousand conversations. Maybe talking about food and health with kids should be treated in the same way some child development experts advise we talk about sex:   instead of one big “Talk,” why not have a thousand tiny dialogues interwoven in daily life?
  • How do you feel? Ask children to consider not only what fast food is made of, but how it makes them feel after eating it.
  • Home-made junk food. If your kids beg for fast food, Sadie suggests using one of Michael Pollan’s Food Rules from his new book:   you can eat as much junk food (french fries, cookies, pizza) as you like, as long as you make it yourself.  (Parenting magazine Babble recently published a 6 of Pollan’s Rules.)
  • The luxury of fresh fruit. A bag of Ripples costs less than a quart of strawberries. Is this partly the reason why obesity often coincides with poverty?
  • Cheap at what cost? Cheap food is never truly cheap:  the chemicals, packaging and factories needed to make it cost us both our health and the environment.
  • Fight the good fight. It can take effort to combat the temptation to buy what’s cheap, easy and instantly satisfying.  Corporations in our capitalist system tend towards bigger and bigger in the drive to sell more products at the lowest production cost.  In order to buy small, local and fresh, we are often working against forces greater than we are.

  • Organic farming is a tough business. We can support farmers (instead of factories) by patronizing green markets and participating in community-supported agriculture programs (CSA), where you pay a farm up front to receive a share of the goods at harvest time, delivered to your neighborhood.  To find a CSA near you, check out Local Harvest.
  • Small changes do matter. Here is a list of a few more things you can do to help our country eat better.
  • Growing stuff is fun. The hands-on, sensory aspect of farming is appealing to children and adults alike:  in the words of my daughter, Sofia, “It would be cool to see how all the plants looked like and it would be cool to dig them out of the ground and find them.”
  • Being frugal and healthy are sometimes at odds: it’s OK to spend more money on things that will improve your overall well-being.  The more we put our money where our values are, the more we help those things flourish.
  • Cooking is a big win-win. Cooking is one of my favorite solutions in the Frugal Mama quest to save money and make life better.  Restaurant food can cost 10 times as much as home-cooked food and is often treated with all sorts of hidden chemicals and processes.
  • More advantages of eating at home: you can relax, eat in your pajamas or lie down afterwards, you fill your home with delicious smells, you don’t have to entertain your kids while you’re waiting for the food or be mortified if they ruin the place, your children learn home cooking values and skills (even just watching you), kids can learn to contribute to the family unit by taking on responsibilities like setting the table, clearing the plates, and sweeping up afterwards.  Can you think of more?

And you know what, it does make a difference that I’m feeding my children well. These food habits and taste preferences will last a lifetime — even if they may occasionally gorge themselves on Doritos at a party. They’ll eventually crave a crunchy green pepper — like Safiyah, who is convinced that the reason she’ll eat anything is because her mom didn’t feed her any sugar until she was one.

Home cooking may be one of the biggest win-wins, but my daughter put her finger on an equally important one after seeing the movie:  ”It would be really cool to plant things, because then we would have free food.”

What’s On Your Plate? is showing for the first time on the Discovery Channel’s Planet Green this Saturday, February 6 at 10 pm.

For extra goodies, check out the Frugal Food section of the Planet Green website which has lots of ideas for eating well on a budget.

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How to Start a Babysitting Co-op | Part 1

February 2, 2010

So a babysitting co-op sounds good to you, but there is none in your area.  Why not just start one yourself?

How to Start a Babysitting Co-op

The problem is it’s hard to find free advice that really gives you the tools you need to start a babysitting co-op.  Who wants to re-invent the wheel when you can copy what other successful groups are doing?

I have both founded and participated in various forms of babysitting co-ops, have very rarely paid for childcare, and have made meaningful connections with some great families.  This how-to article is my gift back to the community, sharing what I’ve learned and the resources we used to make our groups run smoothly.

In this series of posts, I will guide you through the process of starting your own co-op, showing you some of the various ways babysitting co-ops can be organized and providing you with the resources you need to get your group off the ground in no time.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Define the Boundaries of Your Group

Babysitting exchanges work best within a community where some level of trust has already been established.  Will your co-op be part of your mom’s group, your place of worship, school, sports team, or apartment building?  Neighborhood-based co-ops are most successful when the area is cohesive, perhaps bound together by a town newsletter, a historic designation, or active civic association.

Another option would be to start a co-op with your circle of friends. However, friends sometimes don’t feel as comfortable with the formality of a structured co-op and might be better off arranging babysitting swaps.

Here is another version of an informal babysitting swap:  babysitting parties. In this scenario, one family hosts all the children in the group (for a movies and popcorn party or similar) while the rest of the parents get to go out.   Families rotate being hosts one or two Saturdays a month or every weekend.  This set-up works best when families have children of similar ages, as infants can require more attention than is possible with bigger groups.

Find a Partner in Crime

Even if you feel you can do all the work yourself, there are a lot of decisions involved in setting up a new group.  Consider asking someone to help you who seems equally as enthusiastic about the idea.  It’s easier and more fun to work with a friend, and she can help toss around ideas and provide moral support if issues arise.

Who Can Join?

Can anyone within your umbrella group or geographical area join?  Will you require an application or references?  Some groups limit membership to friends of current members.

My last co-op was open to anyone in our tight-knit neighborhood.  The coordinators would visit with the prospective member at his or her home, go over the rules and answer any questions. Application forms asked for contact information as well as two references. The home visit also provided an opportunity to make sure the applicant’s house was clean and safe.

Some co-ops set a cap on the number of families that can join:  I’ve seen limits anywhere from 20 to 45 families.  However, it might be easier to see how things go, and if the group should reach saturation, suspend accepting new members for a while.

Pick a Name for Your Group

Depending on the base for your group (neighborhood, playgroup, preschool, etc.), you could just add the words “Babysitting Co-op” or “Babysitting Exchange” to the end, and you’re done. For example, “The Jamesville Methodist Church Babysitting Co-op,” or the “Dorset Road Babysitting Exchange.”

Decide How You Will Track Points

There are probably as many ways to record and trade babysitting credits as there are shades of pink.  Here are just a few.

Talk with your co-founder about which method seems right for you. Alternatively, present the various options to interested families at your first meeting (but be prepared to go with the majority, which might not be your personal preference).

Web Service

Our current babysitting co-op uses a service called BabysitterExchange.com.  The advantage of an automated system is that all points and sit requests are managed by the service in a clean and mathematical way with very minimal paperwork required.  Our umbrella organization picks up the annual fee ($165), but other groups could charge dues to spread out the cost.  (BabysitterExchange.com does offer a free 60-day trial of their basic subscription with reduced options, such as a limit of 5 members and 2 requests per member per month.)

Cards and Timekeepers

The first babysitting co-op I was involved with uses colored index-sized cards (yellow for 1 hour, blue for a quarter hour).  Each card is stamped with the name of the group. (Rubber stamps can be ordered online for under $10 at places like VistaPrint or SuperiorLabels.)

The group is led by two rotating coordinators who assign secretary duties to a different member every two weeks.  The secretary is responsible for keeping track of each member’s card count and filling sit requests.  (Card counts were more relevant when this co-op used the phone to fill sits as the secretary would begin by calling the people with the lowest counts first.)

Here is a sample card count and contact info form that this co-op uses.  (You can find a Microsoft Word version to alter for your own purposes on my Printables page.)  The two-page form is printed on card stock and placed back-to-back in a sheet protector and filed in the secretary’s binder.  The secretary keeps tabs on everyone’s current card counts by emailing members and filling in the forms before she passes off the binder to the next secretary.

Do-It-Yourself Coupons

Another group I participated in uses carnival tickets (available at office supply stores).  Each “coupon” is worth 30 minutes of babysitting time.  Tickets can be ripped in half if necessary.  This group does not keep track of member’s points.  The coordinator takes care of registration paperwork, sending out coupons to new members, and assigning hosts for their monthly playdates.  Otherwise, all communication and details regarding sits are arranged by members themselves via a Yahoo email group.

Online Spreadsheet

Perhaps the most inexpensive method and clutter-free method is to create a chart in a free document sharing service like Google Docs.  While this requires some computer savvy, no one has to pass out cards or pay a service.  Use the honor system and let everyone update their points themselves after a sit is completed, or ask someone to act as timekeeper and require members to go through him to update their hours.

Here is a sample spreadsheet used by a small babysitting co-op in Vermont.  This group is comprised of four families who are friends and live on the same road.  As you can see, they are quite active and are able to fulfill most of their sitting needs within the group.

When a sit has been completed, the sitter goes into the spreadsheet and logs hours in her “earn” column (and the same amount in the host’s “use” column).  Each family’s total points are then automatically calculated (the spreadsheet has some built-in formulas).  They also have a column for notes, where sitters jot down a little something about what they did together, which I think is cute and contributes to the sense of familiarity in the group.

You can copy this spreadsheet for your group by clicking on File >> Make a Copy once you are in the Google Doc.  You can also download it onto your own computer in various formats (including text and Excel).  Google Docs also allows you now to upload any of your own spreadsheets.

How Much are Points Worth?

Like methods for tracking points, options for deciding the value of points are all over the map.

The group using the online spreadsheet starts out new members at zero.  Members pay 1 point per sleeping child and 2 points per awake child per hour.  If a member has -80 points, the rule is they need to sit more.  If they have 80 or more points, they need to get out more!

Another co-op starts new members with 15 hours of cards which are good no matter how many children the family has and whether the children are sleeping or not. However, they do charge double time at dinnertime (between the hours of 5:30 and 7 pm) and after 12:30 pm. The sitter also earns a bonus hour for weekend sits, and a minimum of 3 hours for Friday and Saturday nights.

The carnival ticket group gives each new member 10 hours worth of sitting per child (i.e., 30 tickets worth 1/2 hour for each child the member has).  They also charge for travel time if the sitter has to go to the host’s house (as opposed to the host dropping off her children).

The web service BabysitterExchange.com starts out each new member with 40 points, each point worth 15 minutes of babysitting per child.   As with a card system, it is impossible to get “in the hole” and leave the co-op with a negative balance.  (With a paid subscription, however, you can change the starting points, allow people to have a negative balance, and charge penalty points for cancellations.)

The disadvantage of this automated system is that there is no way to ask the system to recognize point rule variations, such as sleeping rates or add-ons such as more points for holidays. (However, point totals can be adjusted manually at the end of the sit.)  The upside is that BabysitterExchange.com is now set up for people to barter all sorts of services, including carpooling, house sitting, pet care, meal prep and much more.

Coming up in part 2 of this series:

  • Getting the word out
  • Holding an opening event
  • How to get things rolling
  • Whether to charge dues or not
  • Structured vs. unstructured co-ops
  • What’s the best way to communicate?

Subscribe for free to Frugal Mama so you won’t miss a post.

In part 3, I’ll offer you sample applications, guidelines, rosters, and brochures from real babysitting co-ops that you can download and customize for your own group.

I’d love to hear about your group and how you handled the issues we’ve talked about here.

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Book Blogger Shares New (And Cheap) Ways for Enjoying Reading

January 29, 2010

Gayle Weiswasser is the writer behind the award-winning Everyday I Write the Book, a blog about literary fiction.  Gayle heads up digital communications strategy at Discovery Communications in Silver Spring, MD – home to networks like The Discovery Channel, TLC, and Animal Planet.  She is a mother of twins and also blogs about parenting at DC Metro Moms.

Gayle Weiswasser, Everyday I Write the Book blogI interviewed her about low-cost ways to enjoy books and to socialize around books.

Of course you get review copies from publishers, but do you have any tips for the rest of us for saving money on books?

Gayle: Absolutely! I almost never pay full price for books. I do get a lot of review copies, but I also go to a lot of used book sales, used bookstores — even Goodwill! There are so many ways to find inexpensive books.

Schools have used book sales as fundraisers, particularly in the spring, so keep an eye out for those. You can get great deals there. Used bookstores are also fantastic for book addicts on a budget. There are also some good book swapping websites which I haven’t tried out yet like BookMooch and PaperBackSwap.  And, of course, there is always the library.

Book clubs are a thoughtful, low-cost way to socialize.  Are there new ways book clubs are being organized these days?

Gayle: You can find book clubs online, through blogs (like mine!), and also through bookstores, churches, even neighborhood listservs. If you want to join a book club, ask around in your neighborhood or visit your local independent bookstore. You will most likely find one that is open to new members.

How does an online book club work?

The online book club at my blog works like this: I pick a book I’d like to discuss, and then contact the publisher to ask if it will make a certain number of copies available to my readers. Once they’ve agreed, I announce the book club on my blog. People who are interested in participating send me their name and address, and the publisher mails the books out to them. Then, on an agreed-upon date, I post a review, and the discussion of the book continues in the comments. We’ve also gotten several authors of book club picks to answer reader questions or write guest posts.

I am sure that there are other online book clubs that operate differently, such as where the participants get the books on their own. I’ve been lucky to find publishers who are willing to send out a number of review copies.

Every Day I Write the Book blog

Do you have any tips for someone who wants to start their own book club?

The most important — and challenging — part of starting a book club is finding people who share the same expectations for the club. Questions you need to ask of potential members:

  • How often will we meet?
  • How will books be chosen — by popular vote, or by rotating among members?
  • Can someone veto a book suggestion?
  • Will there be themes, or just random picks?
  • Are non-fiction books allowed?
  • How much time will be devoted to talking about the book — the whole session, or just part?
  • What are the ramifications, if any, if someone doesn’t read the book?
  • How will the group decide about admitting new members?

If these questions are resolved in advance, there is less chance that people will be disappointed or frustrated by the book club.

How do you encourage a love of reading in your children?

Gayle: Simple — read to them!  Let them see that reading opens up whole worlds for them. Take them to the library and let them explore and bring home whatever interests them. And as they get older, read the books that they are reading so that you can help them have a greater understanding of what they’ve read and what they might have missed.

Book by Book: The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Books ClubsThere is a new book out called Book by Book: The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Book Clubs. What do you think about book clubs for kids?

I think they are great! I can’t wait until my daughters are old enough to be in a book club with me. I’ve seen some buzz around that book, and I know that these clubs are very popular. What better way to get your kid fired up about reading? Check out this post on Booking Mama about that book, including a guest post from the author.

Have you every participated in a book swap?

Gayle: No, for one simple reason: I don’t like to part with my books. Once I’ve read a book, it becomes like a friend to me, and I enjoy putting it on the bookshelf and seeing it there on a regular basis. I do love swaps and have participated in several — cookie swaps, clothing swaps — and while a book swap would make a lot of sense for me, I wouldn’t actually contribute anything worth reading. I’ve been tempted to organize one, but I just think it will be too anxiety-producing for me. I do give away books that I don’t want to read, or that I have more than one copy of, via my blog.

There are so many mommy blogs out there.  Can you tell us a few of your favorites?

Gayle: Sure! There are so many to choose from. I enjoy reading The Mummy Chronicles, Rude Cactus (he’s actually a dad), and Shallow Gal (among many others). Those three are all local (DC area) and I’ve gotten to know the authors personally too, which is fun. But there’s a whole world of blogs out there — you just have to find the ones you click with, which you look forward to reading every day.

Read more about Gayle and her picks for literary fiction at Every Day I Write the Book.  You can sign up for email updates and every two months or so she announces a new book club — where participants get free review copies.

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How to Organize a Clothing Swap (at Buttoned Up)

January 25, 2010

Today I’m writing at Buttoned Up where I talk about how to throw a clothing exchange party.

Read the rest of the article.

The Buttoned Up post is a short-and-sweet version of an article I wrote a few months ago about attending a professional kids clothing swap, how it worked, and the pros and cons of finding free clothes by swapping.

In the meantime, I’m working on a new post about starting your own babysitting co-op. If you have been a part of a co-op, I’d love to hear your thoughts about what worked well (and not so well) in your group.

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How to Save Time and Money on Everyday Household Goods with Alice.com

January 23, 2010

This is a guest post by Sarah Welch and Alicia Rockmore. Sarah and Alicia are the co-founders of Buttoned Up, Inc. (@getbuttonedup), a company dedicated to helping stretched and stressed women get themselves organized and co-authors of Everything (almost) In Its Place.

How many hours a month do you spend doing mundane chores, like shopping for groceries? The Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that the average married parent spends somewhere between an hour and three hours each week shopping for groceries. While there were no published numbers for single folks, chances are they spend at least an hour a week doing the same.

Sixty to one hundred and eighty minutes a week adds up. If you were able to cut the time you spent grocery shopping by even a third, you’d enjoy twenty minutes to an hour of extra (free!) time each week. Add that up over an entire year, and you’ve got yourself a free day or two.

Does that sound too good to be true? Well, online grocery shopping is finally coming into its own. By simply purchasing non-perishables online, rather than in stores, you will not only minimize the time you spend, but you will most likely save money at the same time. What’s not to like about that?

Sarah on “Everyone Needs an Alice”

“In the sitcom The Brady Bunch, Mrs. Brady, mom to six children, could always count on her maid Alice to take care of the grocery shopping. As a working mom, I would give my left arm for my own Alice!

I was an early tester of online grocery shopping, optimistic that it would, at the very least, make it easy to ‘time shift’ the grocery shopping but ideally save me time as well. Unfortunately, I never seemed to save enough time (you couldn’t save a regular ‘basket’ of goods, so there were no real shopping time efficiencies) to justify the shipping costs.

Or, if I ordered from a local store online, dealing with the delivery hassles (i.e. please be sure you are home to meet the truck between the convenient hours of 8am and 3pm) pretty much nullified any time savings.

But a new site, called Alice.com, has changed all that. It has thousands of those basic packaged goods for sale at prices that match those at super-stores like Target and Wal-Mart, an interface that actually reminds you of what you need to buy, and the shipping is always free.

Best of all, the site has ‘taken all the coupons in the entire country and uploaded them,’ so the savings is built-in and no clipping is required. That’s a huge bonus for anyone who struggles to clip and organize coupons, or even just remember to bring them to the store.”

Alicia on “The Benefits of Technology”

“One of the major benefits of online shopping is that comparison shopping and budgeting are much, much easier. At the click of a button you can rearrange products to display from the lowest to the highest price items or quickly compare products on a price-per-unit basis.

If you’re using a site like Alice.com, you can also see what products have coupons and the price with the coupon applied, something that you have to calculate by hand if you’re walking around a physical store. I also love that technology makes it possible for me to look at my budgeting, by category, by month, without doing anything. It is so simple and easy to track spending.”

Here are a few simple steps you can take to set yourself up to maximize the time and money you save using the online grocery store, Alice.com.

1. Invest Time in Setting Up Your Account. The first time you use the site, take the time to go through and select all of the products you purchase on a regular basis and save them in the “My Products” section. That way, any time you decide to do your shopping, all you have to do is drag and drop the items you currently need into the shopping cart.

As you select each new item, the site prompts you to estimate how often you will need to reorder it. Don’t stress too much about that number, as you can always change it later. There is also a neat “Advanced Planning” tab that lets you drag and drop your products into reorder windows, like two weeks, four weeks, and four months.

Once you have that set up, the site will automatically remind you via email that you might be running low on a particular item, like detergent, and offer to ship you some before you run out.

2. Take Advantage of the Budgeting Tool. A big reason most people don’t stick to budgets is because tracking spending is a pain. Who wants to spend time poring over receipts and re-creating what you just spent on a budget form? From your first purchase, this site keeps track of how much you spend in each area of the house.

For example, you might see that you’re spending 60% of your dollars on personal care products. If you’re trying to reign in spending, that might be a good category to focus on finding better deals or buying less expensive products.

3. Establish a Habit. Over time, the site will observe what you buy and will try to come up with a regular box delivery schedule if it gets enough data on your habits. Making the switch to online shopping can be a little bit strange, as you have to stop yourself from buying the “old” way (and last-minute runs are just not possible).

So in the beginning, set up a regular time, whether that’s once a week or once every ten days, where you just log on and get your shopping done. Pretty soon it will become second nature.

This is sponsored content. That being said, we do not write about anything we do not believe in and Alice.com did not edit our article or direct our content in any way.

We welcome your thoughts!  Please send ideas and questions to us at yourlife@getbuttonedup.com or visit us at Buttoned Up.

Amy’s Note: As most of you know, I’ve become a fan of online shopping.  While some grocery stores have not mastered the art, online-only sites like Alice.com are a pleasure to use.  Another advantage is that I stay away from the sensory attractions of stores:  once I’m in there for the toothpaste, it just takes a moment of weakness to grab that “discounted” set of jewel-toned mixing bowls.

What about you?  Do you find online shopping saves time and money?  Have you tried Alice.com?

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New Yorkers Embrace Babysitting Co-ops: Should You?

January 19, 2010

“As New York City challenges go, securing affordable, reliable child care is perhaps second only to scoring a cheap two-bedroom apartment with laundry, a bathtub and room in the hallway for a stroller,” writes Carole Braden this month in an article for Time Out New York Kids where she interviews me about babysitting co-ops.

Here is why babysitting co-ops are popping up more and more in the Big Apple, according to Braden:

At home in New York City, parents pinned in the child-care crunch are being more proactive, innovative and open-minded than ever before when it comes to seeking that haven of dependable, affordable, quality care.

Families who once employed full-time nannies are considering shared or nontraditional caretakers, or sometimes less-expensive early education and day-care programs; everyone is casting a wider net and keeping an ear to the ground—a Twister-like pose parents are all too familiar with.

Or they’re swapping diapering sessions with one another. That’s right: Babysitting co-ops, long more of a Midwestern phenomenon than a Manhattan one, are on the rise citywide. The groups, formed in tight communities or large apartment buildings, allow parents to babysit for other people’s tykes, earning points that they can later trade in when they need a “sit” of their own.

“In a babysitting co-op—as in most things in life—you have to give to get,” says Amy Suardi, a stay-at-home mother of three, blogger of frugal-mama.com and the founder of the Play Area Association babysitting co-op, which formed in 2008.

The 21-family group is based at Payson House, an Upper East Side building in which hospitals including New York-Presbyterian, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and Rockefeller University provide subsidized housing for medical residents (Suardi’s husband is a child psychiatry fellow at New York-Presbyterian).

Centered in the building’s indoor/outdoor play areas, the co-op uses the website BabysitterExchange.com to manage requests and offers to sit, as well as the points parents earn and spend. Suardi says that the group, whose monthly playdates and parties have boosted membership, has proved to be a real success, with parents joining in “You watch my kids, I’ll watch yours (for free!)” solidarity.

Hey, a night out for dinner and a movie isn’t so cheap these days. “It’s great,” Suardi says, “because you’re not paying for babysitting on top of the cost of your date.” Good child care? Nonnegotiable. Gratis, good child care? Now that’s priceless.

So what do you do if there is no babysitting co-op in your neighborhood?

That’s exactly the situation I found myself in when we moved to New York a year and half ago.  And I knew what it meant:  someone was going to have to start one and that someone would have to be me.

Before you grab the bull by the horns, let’s review the concept of a babysitting exchange.

What is a Babysitting Co-op?

A babysitting co-op is a group of parents who agree to exchange babysitting time.  Most co-ops work on some kind of point system:  you earn points when you watch someone else’s kid, and you spend points when someone watches yours.

Unlike a one-on-one babysitting swap, members are not obligated to return sits to a particular member.  Parents may fulfill and request sits according to their own schedule with anyone in the co-op.  For daytime sits, children are usually brought to the sitter’s house, and at night, the sitter usually comes to the child’s house.

A babysitting co-op works best when built within an existing community:  a tight-knit neighborhood or a church group, a school, apartment building, or mom’s group.  Many people love the idea of having trusted adults watching their children.

Alas, Still No Free Lunch

A babysitting co-op can work beautifully, especially when several families are committed to fueling the group’s activity.  As I mention in the Time Out Kids article above, the trade-off to free childcare is that you, of course, must be willing to provide free childcare for someone else.  That can mean having extra kids in your house, or being away from your own family on a Saturday night.

Sitting for other kids is often less a burden than it might seem:  at-home moms can transform daytime sits into a playdate; nighttime sits can be a chance to catch up on reading or movie-watching.  Plus, exchanging such important jobs with other families can really bring a community together:  fostering friendships and a feeling of belonging.

Make Friends, Save Money

With families often spread out all over the country, many parents need to create their own support systems.  Like passing around hand-me-downs or bringing dinner to a family with a newborn, a babysitting co-op is a valuable network that can fill essential needs while saving everyone a pretty penny.

Still think a co-op is for you?  In a series of upcoming posts, I’ll show you how to start your own babysitting exchange, step by step.  Subscribe to Frugal Mama to stay in the loop.

Have you ever participated in a babysitting exchange? What worked and didn’t work for you?


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Airline Baggage Fees are Here to Stay: How to Minimize the Damage

January 14, 2010

Just when we finally got used to having to pay the airlines to bring our suitcases along, they are increasing the baggage charge.

Continental Airlines announced this week that it will be raising its baggage fees to match Delta’s new higher baggage rates. The new rates are:

First bag: $23 (paid online) or $25 (paid at the airport)
Second bag: $32 (paid online) or $35 (at the airport)

Don’t Get Caught Unaware

I’m ashamed to admit that just this summer, I had forgotten the details of the whole baggage fee policy (which most airlines introduced in 2008).

I thought one bag was free, so I purposely brought more suitcases than we needed (one for each of my children), thinking I could use the extra space to haul back the hand-me-downs I had stockpiled in my parents’ attic. (N.B.: Add on to the exorbitant price of living in New York City the cost of hauling children’s clothes from an offsite storage space.)

You can imagine I was feeling much less than a frugal mama when I got to the airport and US Airways charged me $15 per suitcase each way, for a total of $90.  (Today their fee is $25 per checked bag, and the damage would have been $150.)

This Christmas we traveled again and — alas, with presents and winter woolens — there was no way to cut down on the baggage count. And, believe me, with small children to keep track of, getting rid of your luggage at check-in is a happy moment.

How to Minimize the Damage

Assuming that the supposedly temporary baggage fees are here to stay, here are things I’ll keep in mind next time we fly within the 50 states. (Thankfully, most international carriers still allow one to two bags free.)

Check the airline’s baggage allowance well in advance of your trip.

This CNN article lists some of the latest, but since fees are changing, check the airline’s policy on their website. (A Google search for “baggage allowance” recently brought up a list of the most popular airline’s pages on this policy.)

Think ahead about how you can pack less or how you can find some items you need on the other end.

For example, if there are laundry facilities at your destination, pack half what you need and wash mid-trip.

Instead of giving them away, my parents keep bulky items like old tennis shoes, thick robes, and big sweaters to ease our double schlep. They also were kind enough to invest in gear like car seats, boosters, strollers, sippy cups and changing mats. Of course we always find a new package of diapers and wipes, bath soap and toys when we get there.

When traveling without children, use a carry-on suitcase.

However, be forewarned.   My friend, Lynn, recently sent out this email, furious about the charges she still had to pay with a carry-on suitcase:

I have been hassled by US Air and United airlines this weekend about my carry-on bag (which I have carried on without difficulty and which easily fits in the overhead compartment for the last 6 years). The bag is not even full. They have cut down the size limitations so it is 3 inches too big (cumulatively – adding height, length and width), so they can charge me $25 ($20 on United) to check it. The gate agent (after we had to change flights and airlines) actually took out a measuring tape and measured it. I am really furious.

CNN says here that “the airlines reported collecting nearly $740 million in baggage fees in the third quarter of 2009, according to U.S. Bureau of Transportation Statistics.”

Enlist your children for help.

If you are traveling with small children (and thus diapers, toys, strollers and snacks), a carry-on suitcase is not a welcome addition to the mix.

However, if you have slightly older children, they will probably be quite happy to help by carrying some of the extras, like toys and snacks, in their own backpacks.

Check-in online.

With some airlines, at least you can save a couple dollars on baggage fees. If you buy tickets online (my favorite travel search site is Kayak), airlines usually send you a reminder by email to check-in online.

Try Southwest or JetBlue.

If the baggage fees are really getting you down, see if your route is served by Southwest, which charges no fees, or by JetBlue, which only charges for the second bag ($30).  (Be aware that Southwest might not be the discount airline that it used to be.  A Frugal Mama reader reports that prices can be significantly higher than major lines.)

Bring your own food.

Airplane food is now just like airport food: unhealthy and overpriced.  Most airlines will charge you now for what they used to hand out as a courtesy for harried travelers.

Because liquids are not allowed (besides amounts under 4 oz. of medicine or baby milk), don’t bring yogurt or juice boxes.  Do bring empty water bottles and fill them up once you pass security.

And don’t even count on the tiny bag of salty snacks and a Coke on board. The last time we flew US Airways, everyone got served the same beverage: a glass of water!

Do you have any tips or experiences with baggage fees to share?

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The No-Coupon Solution to Saving Money on Groceries (at Buttoned Up)

January 11, 2010

At Buttoned Up today, I list some of the ways I try to spend less on food in The No-Coupon Solution to Saving Money on Groceries.

(If you’ve read my post Are Grocery Coupons a Waste of Time?, you know I’m not a big fan of this method for saving money at the supermarket.)

I hope you’ll check it out and share some of your own tricks in the comments section at Buttoned Up.

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Gems to Start the Year Off Right

January 7, 2010

In honor of the new year, I wanted to share with you a few of the many pearls that are being passed around as we begin 2010.

Happiness Is More Valuable Than Money

The first is from the Get Rich Slowly blog, in a post called It’s More Important To Be Happy Than To Be Rich.

Here are some of my favorite parts:

We often get caught up believing that having more money is the key to a better life.

But according to the research Tal Ben-Shahar shares in his book Happier, most of us would be better served by:

  • Creating rituals around the things we love to do.
  • Expressing gratitude for the good things in our lives.
  • Setting meaningful goals that reflect our values and interests.
  • Playing to our strengths instead of dwelling on weaknesses.
  • Simplifying our lives — not just the Stuff, but the time.

And some wisdom from the experience of Get Rich Slowly blogger, J.D. Roth:

  • People who set their goals around relationships or personal fulfillment tend to be happier than those whose goals are built around money and more Stuff.
  • Saving too much and depriving yourself in the process can make you unhappy. Be reasonable with your savings and treat yourself along the way.
  • Experiences, rather than things, incite more intense emotion that lasts longer.
  • Advertising raises our expectations about what we should have, which makes us more unhappy if we don’t have those things.

What Do You Need To Be Content?

To me, the hardest lesson he mentions is this one:

True happiness comes when you learn to be content with what you have.

My late mother-in-law embodied this philosophy. She adored her apartment — the same, unchanged two-bedroom she’d had since she married 40 years ago. She relished in her daily routine and the familiarity of her neighborhood. She loved the basics in life: cooking and eating, children and family, church and friends.

Her neighbor once remarked, almost irritated, “You talk about your apartment as if it were a palace or something.” And she replied, “Because to me, it is a palace!”

As Get Rich Slowly mentions, the key to finding this happiness-inducing attitude is to figure out what is Enough. Once we determine what we need to feel happy, we need to stand our ground when we feel swayed towards dissatisfaction by friends, TV ads, or cocktail party chatter.

A Recipe for Family Happiness

Here are some of the most inspiring resolutions for parents I’ve seen (thanks to my friend, Dillonna, and Bright Horizons, where the resolutions originally appeared).

Ten Practical New Year’s Resolutions for Parents: A Modest Proposal

  1. Say yes more: to spending time and doing things together.
  2. Say no more: to I want, I need, everyone has it, and everyone does it.
  3. Worry less: about all the large and small highly sensationalized harm that exists out there. The overwhelming odds are with you (but drive carefully – without the cell phone).
  4. Listen more; talk at less: Ask what do you think? What are you feeling? Tell me about it. What would you do?
  5. Negotiate less; explain more: Our kids deserve to know the thinking behind our decisions and expectations, but should not be equal partners at the bargaining table. We are the parents.
  6. Read a little more: to your child, with your child, and in front of your child – books, magazines, newspapers, notes.
  7. Write a little more: notes of love, recognition, encouragement, responsibility, and daily appreciation of life.
  8. Expect a little more: good behavior, responsibility, manners, kindness, and all of the goodness that lies within our children.
  9. Expect a little less: constant scheduling and enrichment filled days. Slow down, you move too fast. Children need a lot of slow to grow.
  10. Connect more: to family, friends, the community, those less fortunate, and the natural world.

Any thoughts about these parenting ideals, or the concept that happiness is better than riches?

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Why Tracking Spending is Good For You

January 4, 2010

Happy New Year out there! I hope you’ve had a fun holiday and a restorative break from the routine.

To kick off the beginning of 2010, I’m writing about recording where our money goes today at Buttoned Up in a post called Why Tracking Spending is Good For You.

New projects — like starting a system of writing down expenses — can be more exciting when paired with a fresh calendar.

In the article, I’ve included links to my budget sheets which you can print out in an instant, as well as recommendations for budgeting software and online resources.

Do you record your day-to-day expenses? If so, how?


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