Last year I volunteered to organize the fifth grade Halloween party for my daughter’s class.  Thankfully I was able to outsource entertainment:  one mom read ghost stories, and another parent brought scary music (but somehow the kids ended up doing the macarena instead).

I was happy to bring the food, since it would give me a chance to dress up our favorite bon-bon cookies like pumpkins.  The other snack we brought was frighteningly simple.  Here is what we did:

Cheddar Cheese Pumpkins

All you need is a pumpkin-shaped cookie cutter and sliced orange cheese, like colby or cheddar.

I was able to make about three pumpkins per cheese slice.  The kids and I ate the scraps for a snack later that day.

Keep them refrigerated until you need to transport (or serve) them.

The cheese pumpkins looked adorable and plain cheddar was instantly more tasty.

Pumpkin Bon-Bon Cookies

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that we can’t resist making these buttery iced cookies on special occasions.  (Recipe for Bon-Bon Cookies.)

Because the cookies are round, it was easy to figure out how to dress them up like pumpkins.

We cut up green gumdrops for the stems.

We poked a hole in each cookie (with a wine stopper) before baking to hold the gumdrop stem.

We dipped the baked and cooled cookies in orange glaze.

While the glaze was still wet, we tucked in a gumdrop slice.

Oh man, I wish I could bite into that pumpkin right now.

Last night the kids and I had fun getting into a new Halloween tradition called ghosting.  After being ghosted ourselves (someone anonymously dropped a bag of candy and a poem about ghosting on our front porch), we began planning our secret mission.  We wrote poems, disguised handwriting, bought candy, donned dark hoodies, and hid behind bushes in the dark while one person rang doorbells, dropped the treats, and ran.  But shhhh — don’t tell it was us!

Sofia and Mark raking leaves in front of our old Syracuse house

Hello everyone,

Life with a new baby, a middle-schooler, and three in-between is still wild and wonderful.  Diana is deliciously warm and snuggly, and even though she is still waking at least three times a night, I have help.  Sofia, who gets up early for chorus every day, has started making breakfast for Luke when he patters down to the kitchen in the dark morning.  And when I can’t make it, Virginia, who is in fifth grade now, picks up Mark from kindergarten and walks him home.

Diana tucked into the Moby Wrap before we drop the kids off at school

The most intense part of the day for sure is after-school until bedtime, when eating, spilling, singing, fighting, racing, whining, cleaning, begging, and cooking are all happening at the same time.  But when all the stories have been read, homework logs have been signed, and bedtime chats have been had, the house is serene.  Even though I should go straight to bed myself, I love getting really sleepy while reading a magazine or newspaper.

Something stood out to me in an article about getting kids to help around the house in this month’s Better Homes and Gardens:

“A chore is more likely to stick if it’s done at the same time every day, like setting the table for dinner.  As [Kim John Payne, M.Ed., coauthor of Simply Parenting] notes, “That’s when the task becomes something soothing that helps ground your child.”

My kids have been doing various chores since my oldest was in first grade, but when I think about it, the one chore that they never argue about is the one that has always been the same no matter where we have lived, what we have going on, or how old they are:  that is, setting the table before dinner.

You often hear adults saying that they find it therapeutic to iron, or wash dishes, or mow the grass, but I’d rarely thought about the predictable routine aspect of chores.  But it makes perfect sense:  kids (and adults) crave structure and familiarity.

Boring is Good Sometimes

The repetitive, familiar, sun-up-sun-down nature of regular chores must make it seem like the work is part of life, part of a family’s revolving world.  Assigning regular responsibilities to a child — whether it rotates by week or alternates by day — is also easier on the parent.  I find that while one-off assignments are met with a lot of resistance, routine chores become more automatic, like brushing teeth and getting dressed in the morning.

(That’s not to say that my kids don’t complain or negotiate, or claim that “No one has as many chores as they do.”  But fights are rare when it comes to regular chores, especially ones that always happen at the same time every day.)

We’re All a Little OCD, Aren’t We?

I once read that tasks that require repetitive motions, like sweeping, raking, or shoveling snow, evoke a relaxation response in the body that helps reduce stress.  Just like walking, knitting, or meditative chanting can give us a feeling of restfulness, so can activities that help the whole family, such as scrubbing pots, folding laundry, or vacuuming.

Don’t you also find that any chore that offers instant visual (or aural) feedback is very satisfying?  For example, one of the most popular chores here is mopping the kitchen floor.  Kids get to see the floor become shiny-wet and clean as they progress around the room with the steam mop.

We also find that vacuuming is almost more fun when the floor is really dirty.   We love to hear the clickety-click of crumbs, sand, and pebbles as they are sucked up through the metal wand of our canister vacuum.  And of course, the clearly visible results of blowing leaves and cutting grass make us feel like we’ve really accomplished something.

Everyone Wants to Be Needed

But I wonder if a chore’s most powerful calming effect comes when it gives us a sense of purpose.  We all crave meaningful work, right?  Household tasks give children a sense that they are doing something worthwhile and that is essential to their  family’s overall well-being.

I love getting assistance with the work of running a household, but expecting my kids to help around the house has grounded them in a way that I deeply appreciate.

How Our Kids Began Helping

Sofia was seven and Virginia was five (Mark was only three months) when we moved to New York City.  Maybe it was the move to a big new place, but the girls seemed untethered and antsy, and they were becoming more disrespectful and wild in their play.  What’s more, I was feeling overwhelmed with cleaning and laundry (done down the hall with handfuls of quarters), and in the mornings before school, I felt like a barking gym teacher in need of a whistle.

I began making the girls responsible for getting themselves ready for school (with checklists, timers, and rewards and consequences).  Then I gave them everyday tasks that would help with rush hours:  before going to school, they alternated tidying up their shared bedroom or the living room; in the evening, they took turns setting the table, playing with the baby, and sweeping after dinner.

Once those helper assignments were established and people seemed happy (and very capable), we began sharing the cleaning tasks on the weekend.  I taught them how to clean the toilet, to dust, and vacuum.  I no longer felt like Cinderella, and at least to my eyes, they looked less like the spoiled sisters.  We were like partners, and the kids became responsible for themselves, but also for their apartment and their siblings.

Where We Are Now

No, my kids don’t paint our house, but they loved helping me test paint colors. (Next week, we’re going to have a pink house!)

When Enrico insisted on professional cleaning help (at least while Diana is a little baby), I resisted because I knew that working together was good for us.  But since I wasn’t sure how my recovery would be, I conceded.  The girls now help us with childcare by giving the boys a bath and putting them to bed some nights.  With a big house there is always stuff to do, so they can  choose from tasks in the garden (pruning bushes, weeding, and raking leaves) or in the house (like organizing closets and cleaning inside cabinets and drawers).

And they still alternate setting the table before dinner and vacuuming after. On the odd day, Sunday, I ask Mark and Luke to help.  Mark, who is five, will whine and make excuses until Luke, three, says he wants to do it, and then they start fighting over who gets to do it.

I guess it’s time to include the boys in our regular routine.

Hello everyone,

We’re still in survival mode here — just taking care of the basics (food, love, sleep, laundry), but I wanted to pop in with some pictures to share with you.

Every once in a while, we get professional photos done. We’re so happy with the ways these ones turned out (taken by Katie Jett Walls) and know they will always be a part of our family archive.

Diana was eight days old here. She’s now five weeks. I know, it went by fast for me too.

Life with a new baby, and therefore five children, has been both noisy and deeply quiet, crazy and calm, complex yet simple.  Devoting myself to a newborn forces me to slow down, put my to-do list on hold, and cuddle.  And yet when everyone is home, and Taylor Swift is blasting, plastic monster trucks are flying, dinner is burning, and the baby starts crying, I am one with the hub-bub.

And then of course there are the teeter-tottering emotions of the post-partum period.  Like most mothers of newborns, I feel at times triumphant and at times fragile, as if I were a crystal vase catching the light at the edge of the counter.

As I adjust to and absorb this new expanded life of ours, I am thankful to my contributing writers who have been carrying the blog along with great posts like:

How to Tame the Back to School Frenzy by Suz

7 Ways Pinterest Helps Me Simplify and Save by Jen

The Simple Cleaning Routine that Helps Me Save Money, Stay Trim, and Find Serenity by Rayna

How Technology is Making Reading Easier and Life Simpler by Samantha

Why Frugal is Not the Same as Cheap by Karen

and

How Our Family Budgets Money by Sara

More good stuff to come. For now, I’m signing off,

Hi everyone,

I’m so happy to tell you that Diana was born and she is wonderful.

She arrived smack dab on her due date — labor started at midnight on August 13 and she was born at 3:46 a.m. at 7 lbs. 11 oz.

Her older sisters are in love and will spend hours holding her, singing to her, and putting her to sleep.

Mark and Luke were a little anxious leading up to the birth, but they seem pleasantly surprised that Diana doesn’t care about their trucks.

We are so in love with her and feel incredibly grateful to have been entrusted with this miraculous gift.

Here are a few photos from her first days.

Thank you for all your kind words and support,

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to check in with you all before things get even crazier here.

Our baby Diana is due in less than two weeks (August 13), and we are intensely trying to finish the messiest part of the renovation so that we can clean up and get settled into bedrooms.

The pregnancy has gone extremely well. Besides having to measure my blood sugars (and giving up chocolate) due to gestational diabetes, this pregnancy has been one of my easiest and I am so thankful for that.

This black birthday dress hides my big 9-month belly

Living through a major home renovation, where all four floors of our house have been torn up in some way, has not been so easy. Either has potty-training our Luke (who just turned three).

On both fronts, however, we are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Luke has earned some high fives, and I’m very happy with the finished parts of the house.

I love how the salvaged doors and antique knobs look in the new basement.

The living room will be cozy this winter with our new fireplace.

We chose Queen Anne Pink (Benjamin Moore) for Diana’s room.

Then last month, we were able to escape the mess and stress of the remodeling for a week-long family vacation in Cape May, New Jersey, where the Victorian houses are just as compelling as the ocean.

We even squeezed in a quick trip back to Ohio to see my parents (and feed the horse).

At home this summer, our garden didn’t get a lot of attention, so we felt blessed to have been able to taste our very own peaches and apples for the first time.

Now it’s time for punch lists and rearranging furniture, stocking tiny diapers, freezing casseroles, and cleaning baseboards.

Over the next few weeks and months, I’m going to leave the substantial writing up to my contributing writers — thank you, Jen, Karen, Rayna, Samantha, Sara, and Suz. I’m also looking forward to sharing some guest posts from experts at Home Depot and T. Rowe Price. I plan on popping in now and then with pictures.

Thank you for sticking with me during this time when blogging and social media have taken a backseat to home and family. I look forward to sharing our news with you!

Since we are still in the thick of renovating as we push to finish in time for baby, I thought it would be fun to revive this post from December 2009, when we lived in New York.

It’s a familiar story. A newly married couple is having trouble furnishing their first apartment with limited funds.  Not so familiar:  winning a design makeover arranged by The New York Times.

Even though most of us are not as lucky as the couple I read about in “Newly Married, in Search of a Style,” here are eight frugal decorating tips that I gleaned from their experience (and that I find myself trying to apply to my own house):

1.  First Stop: Hand-Me-Downs

Hand-me-down furniture with a new slipcovered couch and matching paint. Photo by PoshSurfside.com

The couple amassed their starter furniture by asking for castoffs from family members. One can always hope to be handed down some antiques, which will add enough depth in case the rest of your collection is by Target (like ours is).

If there are no heirlooms in your future, you can still find affordable worn-in furniture at consignment shops, flea markets, or thrift shops like Goodwill.

2.  Mix Modern and Traditional

Restoration Hardware does a great job of mixing contemporary and classic styles. Photo: RestorationHardware.com

If grandma’s castoffs don’t seem “you,” try mixing them with some contemporary pieces.

The designer felt that the dark wood and clutter of the couple’s current arrangement would be helped by lighter items — a tall modern lamp with a white shade, a mirror-encrusted throw pillow, and a white lacquered desk (from West Elm).  Of course, IKEA is full of modern lines, and its affordability can offset other costs.

3.  Craigslist:  Someone Else’s Trash…

West Elm (Pottery Barn’s hipper brother) is relatively cheap, but Craigslist is cheaper. The couple found a West Elm desk that the designer had suggested for almost $200 less than it would have been at retail.

4.  eBay:  The Virtual Flea Market

The couple’s designer was psyched to find a pair of Lucite lamps for $165 on eBay — whose value she estimated in the thousands.

A recent search on eBay for “midcentury table lamp” yielded 4,213 results, including this pair of Hollywood Regency lamps from the ’60s

5.  Cover Instead of Replace

The designer figured that a custom slipcover for the TV console would cost less than buying a new one.  They got a custom cover with flaps for accessing the DVD player and cable box.

At $275, however, this made-to-order option is still expensive.  If you want to stick with your own furniture, painting is another inexpensive way to give it an update.

6.  Re-upholster Chairs

My parents helped me put art nouveau fabric (from a remnant I bought on eBay) on these cheap chairs I bought online.

Changing the fabric on chair cushions can really improve the look of a room. To save on labor costs, try doing it yourself. All you need is fabric and a staple gun (which you might be able to borrow or rent from a hardware store).

Thanks to my parents’ demonstration on my own dining chairs, I can attest to the fact that recovering a seat cushion takes about 15 minutes per chair.  Here is a 5-minute video that explains how to do it.

7.  Low-Commitment Wall Decor

Wallpapering is expensive, yet painting is messy.  Enter removable decals.  The decorator used these chocolate brown stripes to set off a dining nook, for a cost of $100, from wallsneedlove.com.

YouTube has all sorts of videos under “how to apply wall decals.”

8.  Invest in One or Two High-Quality Pieces

A traditional English roll arm couch with slipcovers from Pottery Barn.

Sometimes it’s worth it to invest in something classy and durable.  In the long run, this can be kinder to your wallet and the environment.  Traditional styles don’t look dated in a few years and furniture made from natural materials ages gracefully.

Even though the designer found a sofa bed at a showroom marked down from $5,800, it was still a large purchase at $1,950. She convinced the couple that — being elegant and versatile — it was a good investment that would stay with them over the years.

How to Find Affordable Interior Designers

It’s one thing to be able to bargain shop and paint your own walls. But how do you pull it all together into a look you’re happy with?

The decorator paid for by The New York Times would have charged $10,000 for this job. If you appreciate good design, hiring a designer can be totally worth it, but not always possible.  There is a class of decorators, however, that are affordable.

Interior “refiners” and interior “redesigners” work with what you have to improve the look and functionality of a room in a short amount of time and for a minimal amount of money.

Before and after pictures from redesigner Lauri Ward at Redecorate.com.

Members of Interior Refiners Network (IRN) charge a flat fee ranging from $250 to $350 per room.  Interior Redesign Industry Specialists (IRIS) charge $50 to $150 an hour; others may charge by the room, or by the half-day or full-day.  Some offer home staging, shopping and accessorizing services, and color consultations.

You can read more about both of these budget designers and how to find one in your area in this Washington Post article.

If even that sounds like too much, perhaps you know someone — an artist, an architect, or just a friend whose taste you admire — who would be willing to help you place furniture and make decorating decisions.  Our homes are so personal and full of emotional attachments — sometimes an objective eye is just the right ingredient to make the recipe.

Lead photo: Kris Krug

This post was originally published in May, 2011.

Our new house is 100 years old and spacious closets are not among its assets, so I decided to edit our clothing.

With kids’ clothing, of course, it’s easy: it either fits or it doesn’t.  With adults, there is so much psychological baggage weighing us down:

• Oh, that was from my thin days, but I’ll get there again.
• My grandmother gave me that.
• I spent too much money on that.
• That reminds me of when I was young and carefree.
• I’ve only worn that once.
• One day I’m going to get the job I’ve always wanted and I’ll need that.

It’s complicated. But only if you let it be.

I feel fantastic after having dropped off seven bags of my husband’s and my clothing and shoes to the Salvation Army. Getting rid of the stuff was easier than I thought, and I am still reaping the good feeling after-effects.

Yet I still dread getting rid of things sometimes, so I thought I would write down some of the reasons why I was glad I did.

So here is what you’ll get when you give:

1. Money: no more buying stuff you already have

Even though it’s great practice to check our closets before we go shopping, sometimes we don’t plan to buy clothes. (Hello, Target!)  That’s why it pays to regularly go through our things.

My husband discovered in a storage room four pairs of good shoes he had completely forgotten about. In the meantime, he complained about not having any shoes and we even bought some more. When you have too many things, you can’t keep track of them and they get lost or forgotten. So what’s the use of having them?

In the old days, people wore one pair of shoes until the soles got worn out. Then they went to the cobbler, had the soles replaced, and wore the same pair of shoes until the soles got worn out. I think many of us would do well to replace shoe racks and self-consciousness with a dose of old-fashioned frugality.

2. Space: your house will feel bigger

Overstuffed closets and basements make us feel cramped and closed in.  Some people get so overwhelmed that they feel they need a bigger house. My aunt built an addition on her house so she could create a walk-in closet. Some people just love clothes. That’s their thing.

But paring down your belongings can mean:

• Life is simpler
• You have more breathing space
• You spend less time organizing and cleaning
• You can easily fit into a smaller, less expensive house if you want or need to move

Just the visual of having space around our things can give us a big sigh of relief.

3. Peace of mind: the risks are relatively low

Even if you don’t shop at thrift stores, rummage sales, or discounters like Marshall’s, clothing these days is relatively inexpensive.

Let’s say you realize later that you really needed something that you tossed.  Chances are you can go get another without too much damage. (But I suspect this won’t happen, if you check out the guidelines in how to clear out your closet.)

If you buy more expensive clothes, then you’ll save money by investing in classic rather than trendy pieces. And since no one needs a closetful of white blouses, you’ll save space too. (Even though I love whimsical colorful clothes, I think it’s time for me to move in the Frenchwoman direction.)

4. Ease: stop wrangling clothes and storage bins

If you’ve got teetering piles of turtlenecks like I used to have, then you know that some inevitably end up smushed and forgotten at the back of the closet. Sometimes my hanging clothes have been so tight that pulling them apart to see what I had equalled an upper body workout.

If you have to spill out to another closet in the house, getting what you need is even more onerous. So you end up wearing the same stuff over and over and feeling yucky or sorry for yourself. Which brings me to my last point.

5. A feel-good rush: without the aerobic exercise

In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin says that if you need to self-medicate, clean out a closet. I agree. After filling the trunk with bags of clothes that I was hanging on to for dubious reasons, I felt so free and light. I kept only the things that fit me or made me feel good.

We change more quickly than we think we do — our shapes, our tastes, our outlooks. Clothes can be a powerful vehicle for self-expression, but what if they no longer reflect who we are?

I love looking across the room at my new closet, with slivers of air between the hangers and three short piles of folded clothing on the shelf. I even organized the hanging clothing according to color. Silly? Maybe. Fun? Yes.

Do you feel good when you get rid of clothes? Do you think it saves you money?

p.s.  The next step: How to Clear Out Your Closet

With my doctor’s appointments multiplying (I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes again) and the renovations intensifying, I’m not finding much time to sit down and write.

Even though everything is progressing (and I love my newly blue kitchen), the remodeling schedule has not exactly gone according to plan. So instead of finishing one floor then moving to the next, our entire house has become a construction zone.

Habitable spaces, places to put things, and soft stuff to collapse on are disappearing, but we are forging ahead. Baby Diana is due on August 13, just two months away.

Maybe if we take deep breaths and try not to look at the piles of objects we can’t find which are covered with plastic in the center of rooms, we might actually finish in time.

So do you want to see some “during” pictures?

As of this afternoon, here is our bathroom:

and our bedroom:

The kids’ rooms look like this:

and this:

Here’s our former linen closet and future hallway (complete with a flue that now pokes through the roof, and some early 1900s wallpaper we discovered):

The good thing is that our living room now has a new paint color (Copley Gray by Benjamin Moore), lots of shelving for Enrico’s books, and a fireplace (with a salvaged mantel I found at a vintage house parts store):

And our basement is no longer a cavern of dark corners, crickets, and dangerous wiring:

It’s all going to look pretty one day, right?

Summer is a time for travel, big projects, and daydreaming for most people, so I’m assuming that no one will notice too much if Frugal Mama is quieter than usual. Over the next few months, I’ll probably revitalize old articles that are still missing photos instead of generating new ones, like I did last week with the bon-bons recipe.

Although I’ll miss that creative drive, I’m shifting into survival mode.  It’s not every day, after all, that one gets to redo an old house with a very special deadline.

A version of this post was published on June 29, 2010.

These cookies have been a family favorite ever since I spotted them as a preteen in a Betty Crocker cookie book.  (My mom kept the cookbook and it’s now in my possession, as you can see below.)

The whimsical look and buttery taste of these cookies are just as irresistible now as they were then. My kids and I make them when we’re in the mood for creating something extra fun, a little fanciful, and full of color.

My daughters often choose bon-bons over cupcakes for their birthday sleepover parties — and love decorating them with their friends.

They’re the perfect special occasion cookie. We change the icing colors according to the holiday and bring them to school for Halloween events (orange with a slivered gumdrop leaf), Election Day bake sales (red, white and blue icing), and as Valentine’s Day favors (instead of “embarrassing” cards).

We get asked for the recipe a lot, so I thought it would be helpful to post it on the blog. Here it is:

Bonbon Cookies

(adapted from Betty Crocker’s Cookie Book, 1981)

You can double, triple, even quadruple this recipe.

Healthy it up by substituting part of the flour with whole wheat flour.  The last time I made a quadruple batch for my daughter’s sleepover party, I substituted one of the six cups of flour with wheat germ and they were just as delicious (and I didn’t feel quite as guilty downing five bonbons in one sitting).

Makes 2 dozen

• 3/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 1 tablespoon vanilla
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Mix powdered sugar, butter and vanilla.  Work in flour and salt until dough holds together.  (If dough is dry, mix in 1 to 2 tablespoons milk.)
2. For each cookie, shape dough by tablespoonful into a 1 inch ball.  Place about 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Bake until set but not brown, 12 to 15 minutes; cool.
4. Dip tops of cookies into glaze (see below).  Decorate with sprinkles if desired.

Tip: If you accidentally overcook the bonbons and they become dry and hard, put them in a sealed container with a few apple slices.  The moisture from the apple will seep into the cookies and make them chewy again.

Glaze

• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 1/2 teaspoons milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Beat all ingredients until smooth and of desired consistency (thin enough to slightly run down the sides of the cookie, but thick enough to stay there).

Have fun with these — we know you will!